October Surprise, So It Goes

Here we stand 9 days before the election and still no ‘October Surprise’. I figure the Obama camp will not issue a surprise on McCain as they are too knee deep in HOPE and chants of “YES WE CAN.” The McCain camp, however, must find a way to beat the previous punches thrown at Senator Obama. If I am to add it all up, I would believe Senator Obama is an inexperienced socialist terrorist with an elitist educated background of being a lawyer and community organizer but also practices his Arab/Muslim faith with a radical Christian minister named Jeremiah Wright whilst covering with 60s domestic terrorists in William Ayers.

This week, I’m looking to expand this description to include the big 2008 October Surprise. I predict we'll discover Obama is the man responsible for the childhood obesity epidemic. Republicans will of course be the root cause of Alzheimer's Disease.

In Georgia, the October Surprise will come in the form of vicious TV spots from the Senatorial candidates, Saxby Chambliss and Jim Martin. Six years ago Saxby swift-boated in this ad questioning the triple amputee, Senator Max Cleland, patriotism with images of Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.



With the tight race, Jim Martin better watch out, he is about to discover his close personal relationship with Hitler.

The New York Times issued this endorsement:

“…It has for many years been desirable that political power in the Nation should be transferred from the Republicans to the Democrats. The desired transfer has been postponed because the Democratic Party has wandered in strange places, has committed itself to unsafe doctrines under distrusted leaders. That has been cured. The Democracy has returned from its wanderings, it is again a united party, and its candidate, passing in triumph all the tests and challenges of the campaign, stands before the country as a man of bigh equipment for the office, worthy of the full confidence of the people. Without misgiving, with entire safety, and to the advantage of the Nations, the Democrats may now be returned to power. The country has made up its mind upon that point…”

After this convincing argument, I am urging everyone to vote 4 November for the Democratic candidate, Woodrow Wilson.*

But seriously, along with their endorsement of Barrack Obama, the NYTimes has a time line of all their endorsements over the years, or in the case of Ike, the lesser of two evils argument.

Please be a responsible and informed voter next week. Go Vote!

So it goes...


*Published 5 Nov 1912, The New York Times

The Obvious Liberal Media

The topic of alcohol comes up very often in this weblog. For this post, I want to do a service to all those drinkers out there who wake up Sunday mornings needing a cure for the weekend hangover. Gentlemen, I have found the cure for the hangover.* You can find this cure at the local Waffle House.


Meet Coffee News, a weekly publication available for your enjoyment with Bert’s Chili and a side order of hash browns. I digress.

While perusing the latest edition of Coffee News, I found this gem of a story:

Paparazzi proposition: Tania Cowher, a businesswoman in Austin Texas, has a proposition for anyone who wishes they were a celebrity. For anywhere from $250 to $1,500, Cowher, who owns Celeb-4-A-Day, will arrange for the paparazzi to show up on your doorstep and act like you’re famous, tripping over each other to snap your photo. The high end of the price scale gets you a limo, bodyguard and publicist, not to mention a pretend cover of a celebrity magazine with your smiling face on it. “Friends are surprising their friends with this. They want to experience something they’ve never experience before,” say Cowher

Or this news flash:

Picky Lady: Milunka Dabovic, a 38-year-old woman from Maskova in central Siberia, received her first proposal of marriage when she was just a young girl of 14. Twenty-four years and 149 marriage proposals later, she still hasn’t said ‘Yes’ to a suitor. Her search for ‘Mr. Right’ continues. Dabovic says that sometimes, a particularly determined would-be husband tries to get her mother to convince her to say ‘Yes.’ “They won’t take ‘No’ for an answer.” She says. Her criteria for a husband is straight forward: tall, handsome, hard worker, good heart, and willing to live in her village.

(and people say I have high standards)

Now that I’ve read Coffee News I know my horoscope, where to buy custom buttons, where to go to church, and there is a Senior Expo on 22 October at the Oconee County Civic Center. Now that's what I call a newspaper.

Your Words Constitution:
"The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided."
Article 1, Section 2

"If, at the time fixed for the beginning of the term of the President, the President elect shall have died, the Vice President elect shall become President."
Amendment 20 - Presidential, Congressional Terms, Ratified 1/23/1933, Section 3

"In case of the removal of the President from office or of his death or resignation, the Vice President shall become President."
Amendment 25 - Presidential Disability and Succession, Ratified 2/10/1967, Section 1


*Obviously, I am assuming no ladies read this blog

Drinkability You Can Believe In

There were a lot of critics when this campaign began. “You’re getting in the way of the big Clydesdale horses that have dominated the campaigns for years.” Apparently, it is wrong for a campaign to mettle with the inevitability of what has been proven to work in the past.

Budweiser crafted the word ‘drinkability’ as a passing description of its Bud Light product. They used this term for months while the masses clamored for the beer. I saw people fall off the proverbial wagon to endorse a beer based on a simple marketing ploy. I was a little suspect at the beginning and I had to be convinced. I was not going to let the shiny persona, the well-crafted rhetoric, or the ease with which to digest the product convince me so quickly.

Thus, I called for Budweiser to define exactly what this ‘drinkability’ means. Well, my friends, they did just that:




Budweiser silenced my, and others, criticism by defining in specific detail what it means to have ‘drinkability’. Now I know that ‘drinkability’ not only means the ability to drink something but also the ease at which to drink it all day long. This is great for tailgating and parties. ‘Drinkability’ means my wallet doesn’t feel the pinch. ‘Drinkability’ means I don’t have to worry about the beer making me full. ‘Drinkability’ means I don’t have to drink that elitist microbrew crap.

Many people out there are still saying "drinkability? Ha, more like pour-it-down-the-sink-ability." These people are stupid. It's not that they don't care, they just don't get it.

This is such a brilliant technique for making a campaign. I wonder why no one else has ever thought of this before?


Your Words Jack London:
"There are, broadly speaking, two types of drinkers. There is the man whom we all know, stupid, unimaginative, whose brain is bitten numbly by numb maggots; who walks generously with wide-spread, tentative legs, falls frequently in the gutter, and who sees, in the extremity of his ecstasy, blue mice and pink elephants. He is the type that gives rise to the jokes in the funny papers."
- From John Barleycorn

Alcohol in the time of Elections

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