Hotties from History

Vote for Mr. or Ms. September. Relive the sexy with a new batch of 'hotties from history' brought to you by the great satirical Podcast, The Bugle. My vote is for Sarah, wife of Abraham in the Bible. What a babe!

For those of you who are fans of political satire, you must check out The Bugle. John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman deliver a tag-team, no joke off limits, Podcast. Their regular segments include the aforementioned 'hotties from history', 'ask an American', 'sports', and the world-famous world's only 'audio cryptic crossword'.

Your Words Mary 'Mother' Jones (a hottie nominee this month): After being accused of being "unladylide", Mary H. Jones retorts, “a lady is the last thing on earth I want to be. Capitalists sidetrack the women into clubs and make ladies of them.”
What a floosie!

"I asked a man in prison once how he happened to be there and he said he had stolen a pair of shoes. I told him if he had stolen a railroad he would be a United States Senator."

Serious Piratude

Pirates off the coast of Mogadishu, Somalia seized a Ukrainian cargo ship carrying an unexpected booty: Russian battle tanks and a "substantial amount of ammunition." Awesome, I love pirates. Another story here.



If you are a movie script writer with a bad case of writers block, I suggest you pay attention to this one. It has everything: Pirates, the former Soviet Union, hostages, a possible love story, the U.S. Navy, a sea piracy renaissance, arms sales, and Pirates. This movie basically writes itself; you could phone it in. Pirates and a love story, Disney would pick this up.

Your Words Pirate:
"We want ransom, nothing else. We need [USD] $20 million for the safe release of the ship and the crew...If we are attacked, we will defend ourselves until the last one of us dies." - Ali the Pirate

Avast! If you were a pirate who successfully seized a cargo ship with 33 Russian tanks and a workforce of hostages, wouldn't you at least ask for a little more? Don't get me wrong, that is still a lot of money, but I've seen many Hollywood movies too. Their original asking price was USD $35 million and has since dropped to USD $5 million. You could get more than that trying to sell the tanks on the black market. The Ol' Buccaneers must have fallen on hard times.

I bet the pirate community across the world uses this opportunity and the other recent commandeering ventures to start attracting a new, younger breed of pirates. They can emphasize the excitement and monetary rewards that piracy provides. Perhaps we are on the cusp of a new golden age of piracy?
[I digress. I wonder what their drink of choice will be. Rum is sooo Caribbean. Whiskey? Vodka? Maybe they are cocktail pirates? Beer is cheap and good to offer the new recruits at information sessions because of the keg option. Wine is too pretentious for a buccaneer.]

Think of how exciting a new era of piracy could be. Perhaps we can combine the "War on Terror" with the open seas? Now that's a war I can get behind. It would also renew the great naval skirmishes of old with new strategies and tactics.

As a PSA, I would like to remind everyone the importance of knowing how to speak pirate. This may just save your life one day.

Post-Rational Excitement

Step back and recount the state of our world at this moment. The last of three hurricanes, Ike, destroys Galveston and leaves Houston still without power. The remains are similar but a lesser version of Hurricane Katrina. However, that's not the big news.

The economy, a topic that makes people's eyes glaze over with every mention, has a new development everyday. We were introduced to the term "sub-prime mortgage" then the mortgage giants started falling. The word "bailout" started being shuffled around as news companies scrambled to try to find an explanation to tell their readers, viewers. My co-worker noted, "I wish I never paid my mortgage, I would have been let off the hood." When it comes to the economy all I can say is, "it's stupid."

Not to be over shadowed, we have an election. The old Senior Senator from Arizona picked the young mother of five, two-year Governor of Alaska, whose population is smaller than Memphis. John McCain is a war-hero. If you don't believe me, you can ask him. Or don't ask him, he'll tell you anyway.

I've read a lot about Sarah Palin lately and I still don't know anything about her. Please let me know the moment they let her speak.

On the other side, we have the mix-raced Junior Senator from Illinois. African father, mother from Kansas, born in Hawaii, lived in Indonesia, went to Harvard Law, and is a Democrat who actually is more religious than his Republican opponent. He's fills stadiums and excels with his rhetoric.

My point is this, you cannot write this script. What is going on around us is exciting and worth paying attention to.

In my own life, it's all happening. I'm traveling; I have a exciting job, and my Bulldogs are gunning for a national championship.

It is for these reasons that I have decided to start a blog. Expect a variety of topics presented in a myriad of formats be it serious, satiric, or boring.

Regular features include:

"Sport"
"Where the Hell is Billy"
"Your Words"
"This Should Bother You"