Serious Piratude

Pirates off the coast of Mogadishu, Somalia seized a Ukrainian cargo ship carrying an unexpected booty: Russian battle tanks and a "substantial amount of ammunition." Awesome, I love pirates. Another story here.



If you are a movie script writer with a bad case of writers block, I suggest you pay attention to this one. It has everything: Pirates, the former Soviet Union, hostages, a possible love story, the U.S. Navy, a sea piracy renaissance, arms sales, and Pirates. This movie basically writes itself; you could phone it in. Pirates and a love story, Disney would pick this up.

Your Words Pirate:
"We want ransom, nothing else. We need [USD] $20 million for the safe release of the ship and the crew...If we are attacked, we will defend ourselves until the last one of us dies." - Ali the Pirate

Avast! If you were a pirate who successfully seized a cargo ship with 33 Russian tanks and a workforce of hostages, wouldn't you at least ask for a little more? Don't get me wrong, that is still a lot of money, but I've seen many Hollywood movies too. Their original asking price was USD $35 million and has since dropped to USD $5 million. You could get more than that trying to sell the tanks on the black market. The Ol' Buccaneers must have fallen on hard times.

I bet the pirate community across the world uses this opportunity and the other recent commandeering ventures to start attracting a new, younger breed of pirates. They can emphasize the excitement and monetary rewards that piracy provides. Perhaps we are on the cusp of a new golden age of piracy?
[I digress. I wonder what their drink of choice will be. Rum is sooo Caribbean. Whiskey? Vodka? Maybe they are cocktail pirates? Beer is cheap and good to offer the new recruits at information sessions because of the keg option. Wine is too pretentious for a buccaneer.]

Think of how exciting a new era of piracy could be. Perhaps we can combine the "War on Terror" with the open seas? Now that's a war I can get behind. It would also renew the great naval skirmishes of old with new strategies and tactics.

As a PSA, I would like to remind everyone the importance of knowing how to speak pirate. This may just save your life one day.